Sexting Wars
by Kawaii Seishin
Summary: America "borrows" China's phone to see what's so awesome about it...and finds Russia naked! One word: Blackmail!


"Yo, China, can I borrow your phone?" I asked, chewing on the best-thing-in-the-world-forever-and-ever, aka a hamburger.

"Sure-aru, but why?" He flicked his ponytail over his shoulder and tossed me his black razor, a very cute panda charm jingling on the side.

"Meh, I don't feel like getting mine from my back pocket," I know I sounded like a bastard, but I was desperate to see if it was true.

A few days ago, I had over heard China talking to Japan about what Russia had sent him and how it was the best thing in the world (which is exaggerated compared to a good ol' burger). When I asked China about it later, he blushed and said it was none of my business; so since then, I've been determined to see what it was.

"Oh, there's no service," I lied, trying to escape. "I'll go check outside."

"Don't be long-aru!" He called as I half-leaped out of the living room.

I smiled as I ducked behind the fence, switching the phone on. Crouching down on my knees like a dog, I laid my back against the generator and sighed as the phone hummed to life, screen flickering orange and white. I giggled when I saw his home screen, which was a photo of Russia squinting smiling with a panda on his shoulder.

"America-aru! Hurry up!"

"I'm hurrying" I yelled back, rushing to find what was so awesome. After a few minuets of exploring his phone, I was just about to give up when I accidentally pressed a button to his messages but I caught a glimpse of...was that a dick?

I scrolled down to his recent messages and saw that some (which were ALL from Russia) were photos, and clicked on the most recent received. Suddenly, a huge photo of a very naked-and very sexy-Russia popped up posing with his military hat tipped sensually and his finger to his lips holding a smile. He laid on a wooden table with his legs spread and his eyes shinned and danced, even though the image was 2D; his normally large dick had turned into the mother of all erections. How was China able to suck on something that huge?

I am not going to lie and say I wasn't turned on by Russia's pose, but he was defiantly China's property. At the last World Conference, France tried to hit on Russia but China took the nearest frying pan and smashed France's head, then England started a fist fight with him-over jealously, they are so cute together-then Russia came and glomped China. Said Asian blushed and the other nations could hear their passionate cries far away...

"America! I need my phone back-aru! England's calling soon!"

"Okay! I'll be right back!" I snuck out my own cell phone-which is totally awesome with a superman case-and snapped a photo of the sext and smiled as I imagined China's orgasm when Russia sent the photo.

This would be good blackmail...

-x-

"Russia~" I sang as I pranced inside his house, smiling wider-almost-than France seeing England in a maid's outfit.

"What is it, da?" He snaked into the room with towel hanging limply at his hips. "Ready to become one with me?"

"No~" He frowned.

"What's wrong, da? You never smile this long without mentioning about those ghastly things you call food, da."

"Stop mistaking me with England. Anyway, I saw what you sent China~"

Russia's eyes widened-which was a first.

"You mean..."

"Yup~"

"Why are you telling me this, da?" He stepped closer to me, sending tingles of fear up my spine.

"I'll tell everyone about it if you don't...uh...wear a dress at the next meeting."

"Okay, da. I ask Belarus or Ukraine to borrow some clothes-"

"No! I want you to do something humiliating!" I poked him in the chest. "I know! I won't tell if you give China a lap dance at the dinner tomorrow."

"In front of everyone, da?"

"Yup!"

"Okay, let's hug to seal the deal, 'kay?" Russia wrapped him arms around me and I felt his warm breath on my shoulder.

"Bye! See you at the dinner!" I yelled cheerfully as I skipped outside.

A few minuets after I boarded my plane to home sweet home, I remembered I forgot to turn off my phone. I reached into my back pocket expecting to find it, but it was gone.

Shit, I thought. When was the last time I had it?

I thought back to taking the photo...blackmailing Russia...and hugging Russia...That bastard!

My face paled as I remembered that I had some erotic photos of me and Canada jerking off...

-x-

"Damn it..." I mumbled as I entered the fancy restaurant...wearing a maid's outfit. I saw Russia and China's smirk, Canada's wide-eye stare, and England and France sucking their faces off, but all the other nations laughing their asses off.

"Russia, have I ever told you I like you?"

"No, da."

"Good."


End file.
